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by what-is-a-fanfic-writer (HotShame)



Series: Secret Santa 2018 [2]
Category: Iron Man (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky being a good bro, Fluff, Humor, Identity Porn, Kisses, M/M, Mind Control, Mutual Pining, Pepper is everyone's best friend, Pining Steve Rogers, Pining Tony Stark, Protective Steve Rogers, Secret Identity, Secret Santa 2018, Tony being a sappy bitch, Whump!Tony, basically:, project extremis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 05:56:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17156501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotShame/pseuds/what-is-a-fanfic-writer
Summary: It's called Project Extremis. An unstable biological drug that was purposely created to cure cancer, but ended up as a hypnotical weapon to control someone's mind. And unbeknownst to Tony Stark, he may become the first subject to it.





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**Author's Note:**

  * For [FatalKitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FatalKitty/gifts).



> For FatalKitty! Happy Christmas CHICA! <3

 

 

_"It's your lucky day!"_

 

His hated that singsang voice. He gagged against the cloth they wrapped against his bleeding lips. He couldn't feel his lower body, couldn't feel the pain in his fingers. They're all broken now, he's sure of it. But he hated feeling numb. He couldn't feel a single thing of his body.

 

They have been torturing him for hours--days? Amidst denying everything they throw at him, even if both of them knew it's a futile effort, he needed something to focus on his mind to, he had forgotten what it felt like to feel pain. Or perhaps he just got desensitized and the only thing his body was feeling was pain, but it wouldn't register in his brain.

 

"Hey? You awake yet?"

 

He hated his middle eastern accent. Fuck Nick for sending him here. Fuck the Taliban for reigning like Kings anyway. They all should burn in hell.

 

His head was thrown back by a force pulling at his hair. He saw an injection brandished in front of him, mocking him.

 

"Look at this? Perhaps it'll make you talk. The people up there," the hated man looked up as if he's speaking about gods, "they were told it'll hurt much. Very, very much. And we love the hurt, don't we? Yes, we do."

 

Before he could even blink, the hated man jabbed the injection in his neck.

 

Silence.

 

He wanted to laugh. Perhaps it failed, finally someone up in there listening to his prayers. Maybe this will kill him. Maybe, maybe...

 

His body suddenly repulsed and he fought hard against the chains on his arms and feet. He needed to get out, his body felt like it's burning from the inside out. He screamed, and screamed.

 

The hated man laughed. And laughed.

 

After a minute, he's dead.

 

And then he's alive.

 

His body burning.

 

\--

 

Despite what people have come to believe, Steve Rogers isn't stupid. Yeah, his Captain America persona may have been a little airheaded, and yes maybe he have a tendency to run away from all talks of Sciences, Maths and anything other than History and Strategy, but he wants to separate these two identities of him. Makes it easier to pretend that he's braver than he is. It's like slipping in another skin.

 

Steve was actually a genius. Perhaps not that could rival Tony Stark, because man that's a whole different level all together, but he isn't short behind. His focus, however, wasn't it Mechanics or Technology, but rather in Microbiology and Genetics. He loved cells, and he loved singing about it. He remembered the old times where he'll review about his exams by singing about it, and Bucky, his best friend, would tease him endlessly, pretending that he's crossed with him, saying his voice isn't even that good, but Steve knew he's listening. His ma have always told him how good of a singer he is. And his ma never lies.

 

Officially, Steve works as a researcher for Project Extremis, something he and Dr. Maya have formulated to help cure cancer. It was still in it's early stages, and is still isn't fit for any human experimentations. But Steve has good faith that it'll be evolutionary. He's even excited to attend the Stark Expo later on this week. He's been dreaming of meeting Mr.Stark himself and introducing the project to him, wanting to hear his input.

 

Steve felt his cheeks reddening. Okay, so he have a little crush on the man and have often fantasied seeing his lips up close, or smelling his perfume -- Steve groaned. Damn, he's such a creep. He wished he wouldn't stutter when he's in the presence of the man himself.

 

The door suddenly opened and Steve let out a little yelp, although his left head was already wrapped around the sharpest object he could use as a weapon (but never to kill). He laughed when he saw it was only his co-worker, Dr. Maya.

 

"How are you Dr. Hansen?"

 

Maya gave him a warm smile. "I told you, you can call me Maya."

 

"Sorry." Steve smiled, showing his white teeth and small dimples.

 

Maya merely laughed and approached the table where a prototype of Extremis was displayed. She stared at it, while Steve does the same.

 

"It's done." Maya said.

 

Steve shook his head. "Not yet. We still have to test it."

 

"Then we should." Maya immediately replied. "We could, couldn't we?"

 

Steve again shook his head. "We can't begin human testing immediately. We need to stabilize it first."

 

Maya, somewhat, remained silent. Steve took little note of it, too focused on his notes.

 

"So..." Maya's soft voice took Steve out from his train of thought. She looked at him, a spark of mischief flashing in her eyes, "are you excited?"

 

Steve spluttered. And tried, very hard to deny. "W-what event? Totally not!" But his ma have always told him he had too much kindness in his heart to become an even relatively good liar. He looked the other way, "I don't know what you're talking about."

 

Maya laughed. "Of course you do!" She started steering him towards the door, grabbing his notes. "So why don't you go and prepare early? After all it's Tonight."

 

Steve bumped his head on the door. He ignored the pain and turned back to her. "Tonight?! But it's still Wednesday! Expo's scheduled on Saturday!"

 

Maya looked at him as if he's the biggest idiot in the planet. "Steve, isn't already Saturday. You lost track of time, again."

 

Steve groaned. "Damn it."

 

Maya laughed. "Language!"

 

Steve rolled his eyes and left. "I guess I'll see you there, Doctor--"

 

Maya glared. Steve laughed.

 

"Ah...Maya?"

 

She smiled and nodded. "Of course."

 

Steve smiled and rushed back to his quarters. He had a gala to prepare. He must look his best tonight. Because...well...Stark would be there. And well...

 

Steve has a huge crush on him.

 

And he have to practice his stuttering. He refuses to stutter in front of his _crush_ \--er—Mr. Stark.

 

\--

 

“You’re such a difficult man!” Pepper’s voice roared around Tony’s precious lab. Tony let out a yelp and jumped from his seat, almost burning his hand in the process.

Pepper sniffed a laugh. “Did you just—”

Tony shook his head, and willed his heart to stop beating so goddamn fast. “No! I did not—I’m not—” He would deny it until his grave. He _did_ not yell like a little girl seeing a ghost. Nope. “Friday!” he yelled at the ceiling. “I told you to announce _anyone_ entering the lab.”

“So what? So no one would hear you scream?” Pepper could not control her amusement any longer and laughed.

Tony groaned. He went back to what he was doing earlier. “What’s up?”

“The gala is what’s up.” Pepper said, walking around the lab, admiring all of Tony’s brilliance. Even up until now, she still marvels on what this particular _jumpy_ man could accomplish. Simply…simply amazing. “It’s tonight.”

“What?! It’s still Wednesday!” Tony looked up. “Friday! What day is it?” He refused to believe he just lost track of time.

“Saturday, sir.” FRIDAY’s eloquent voice echoes.

Tony sighed. “Of course it is.” He stood up, stretched and walked around the lab. “Come on, Pepper, I need your opinion on what suit to wear.” He said walking at the door. He noticed the lack of footsteps following and turned around to see Pepper standing still at the center of the room, almost pale. “What?” He asked, unamused and baffled.

Pepper almost had a heart attack. She isn’t sure she heard him right. “Y-you’re going?”

Tony shrugged. “Of course I am. We’re hosting it right?” He ran his hand over his moustache, thinking, and assuring himself that yes he did signed that approval letter. Or did he? Damn it.

“Ah—but, I was—I thought you need…convincing? I even prepared a speech and all that.” Pepper said, as if explaining to him why the earth revolves around the sun.

Tony blushed and looked down, trying to hide it. “Ah yes—” he started to rub his neck. “You see—uhm…I was looking forward to meeting new people?”

“New people? Or one particular people?”

Tony couldn’t believe it, he blushed deeper. “Ah—”

Pepper let out a fangirl scream. “Oh my god—You do! Who is it?” She began mentally sorting through the guest list. “AH! Its Doctor Rogers isn’t? Blonde and _muscular._ Yup, totally your type.”

Tony groaned and walked out of his lab, Pepper following through. “Yes. So, if you _please_ help me look relatively presentable.” He wouldn’t even deny it. He knew she would come across that information anyway, there’s no stopping that woman from digging.

Pepper laughed. “Oh my god, you had it that bad? You haven’t even met him yet!”

Tony shrugged. “So sue me.”

Pepper hummed. “I know just the suit you need to get laid.” And she winked at him.

Tony smiled. Oh, he’s _definitely_ getting laid.

\--

“Hello.” Tony yelped, his drink almost spilling from his grip. He turned left, ready to give a piece of his colorful mind to however thought it’s best to startle him while he’s having a good drink—and oh my god it’s Steve!

“Ah—yes, how may I be of help?” he asked. _Be of help?_ God, Tony wants to bash his head on the nearest wall. That’s the best he could come out with? Bring out the smooth talk!

Steve laughed. “I didn’t know you could be so polite, Mr. Stark.” Oh god, that smile. That should be illegal! _I need to get the legal department to file a complain. ASAP!_ Tony thought.

“Please, Mr. Stark is my father. Call me Tony.” He said, putting out his left  hand. Yeah, another cliché.

That somehow earned another smile from Steve. He grasped Tony’s hand and stared at him. Tony felt lost in his eyes. Have they always been this blue?

None of them even realize that they’ve been staring at each other’s eyes, holding each other’s hands for almost ten minutes. That is until a certain old man coughed and excused himself because apparently Tony is blocking the way to the cupcakes. And this old man needs one.

Steve coughed and let go of Tony’s hand. And oh my god, is god real? Because Tony _swore_ he saw a deep red hue on Steve’s cheeks.

Tony drank the last of his drink, hoping to get that liquid courage. “Ah—I heard about your Project Extremis was it?”

Steve smiled and they got lost again in each other’s eyes…and brilliant words.

 

\--

 

Tony and Steve stumbled towards Tony's suite. Steve was honestly amazed. Which hotel did Tony never own? It’s as if every single Five-star hotel Steve would name have Tony Stark as board member or main investor or whatever because holy shit Tony did just what with his tongue.

 

Steve groaned as Tony pushed him down the bed. Then he started nipping Steve's neck and he tilted his head to the left to give him more access. “Yes…” Steve whispered between his moans.

 

“Yeah, baby, keep it loud. I own this floor. No one would hear you,” Tony said loosening Steve's necktie using only his mouth.

 

_Fuck_. Steve could come with just that.

 

“Or better yet, let them hear you,” Tony said, leaning up and removing Steve's buttons. “Either way, let’s get…loud.”

 

Steve snorted. What a funny man. He leaned up and started removing Tony’s buttons too. “I refuse to be the only one naked tonight.”

 

Tony pouted. “Fine…” he said, as if the very thought offended him.

 

Steve laughed. And Tony gave him a small smile. He then lowered himself and blew air over Steve's underpants.

 

Steve shuddered. He groaned.

 

Tony laughed and kissed it. “You’ll enjoy this.”

 

“Make sure that I do,” Steve said, eyes challenging.

 

And let it be said that Tony Stark is a competitive individual. He eagerly pulled Steve’s pants away and started massaging his dick. He positioned himself, getting as much comfortable as he could, because it’ll be a long while before enveloping Steve's whole dick in his mouth.

 

Steve moaned as loud as he could manage because my god that felt good. He gripped Tony’s head, fingers brushing over his smooth and silky dark hair.

 

Tony smiled, tongue twirling over his future lover’s dick. He wanted to taste every inch of this, make Steve quiver, and make him beg for a release.

 

“I’m going to c-come Tony…” Steve whispered.

 

Tony pulled his mouth up with a _pop_. “Nopety nope nope,” he said removing his pants and boxer shirts. “You gotta do that inside me.”

 

Steve have to grip the blanket so hard to stop his cum from spilling. _Dear god_ , Tony could make him see heaven just through his words.

 

Finally, after Tony stands before Steve in all his naked glory, he pulled out a lube and a condom on his bedroom drawer. He threw the condom at Steve and he immediately sit up to wrap it around his dick.

 

Tony meanwhile leaned down, applied some in his fingers, and started fingering himself, opening him up.

 

Steve could merely stare at him, putting all of this in memory. Something he could play with, once everything is over.

 

Because he’s Tony fucking Stark. He’s the epitome of a rich Playboy. This, all of this, is probably just another one night stand.

 

_So make the most of it,_ his mind whispered. And Steve saw the logic in it. Yeah, why not?

 

Tony was surprised when instead of the three fingers he had up his ass, it suddenly transformed into _four_. He wiggled his remaining fingers, trying to decipher how the hell---

 

“Tony…” Steve whispered in his ears. And fuck, Tony almost forgot he’s there, too lost in pleasure.

 

He removed his fingers where Steve replaced them. He’s bent over him, one finger exploring Tony's ass. Then he pulled it out, and replaced it with his tongue.

 

Tony groaned, head collapsing on the pillows as Steve tasted him. “Fuck yeah,” Tony moaned as Steve continued to explore him. He shivered.

 

Finally with a pop, Steve removed his tongue from his ass. He licked his lips as he positioned his dick over Tony's hole.

 

“Tell me when it hurts,” Steve said.

 

Tony rolled his eyes. Such a sweetheart.

 

When Tony didn’t answer, Steve asked… “Tony?”

 

“Yes! Yes just fucking put it inside!” Tony said, always the impatient bastard.

 

Steve chuckled and did as he was told.

 

\--

 

Despite what everyone tries to say, Steve did not pine. Nope, nopety nope nope. He’s just…he just felt sick these past few days.

 

It has been three days since the night of the gala, since Steve experienced what he had only imagined for years. It was the best night of his life, and he---

 

Steve shook his head. No! He had to focus, _focus, focus,_ on the task before him. He needed to patch—

 

The door suddenly opened. “Steve!” Maya's voice echoed across the room. Steve flinched and turned. A fake smile in his face—which immediately changed into surprise.

 

“Tony?” he asked, confusion marring his face. “What are you doing here?”

 

Tony's eyes were on the ground. “Well, uh, _officially_ I’m here to, uh…see the project?”

 

Maya kept on glancing between the two of them.

 

“And?” Steve felt compelled to ask, because he felt like there’s something more.

 

“ _Unofficially?”_ Tony took a deep breathe. “Uhm…to see you.” He smiled shyly, almost afraid of what reaction Steve might have over it.

 

Steve smiled fondly.

 

Maya felt like she’s invading something private. “Uhm, I’ll just—“ no one even seemed to hear her anymore. “Water? I’ll just go.” She said and all but run off away from those two love birds, closing the door behind her.

 

“I thought…you’ve forgotten,” Steve didn’t realize he had spoke out loud.

 

“what? You?” Tony asked as if Steve just proposed that the Sun in fact revolves around the Earth. Which is preposterous and very, very silly. “Never. Steve, last night…was the best night of my life.”

 

“Its actually Tuesday now.” Steve said, amused.

 

“Goddamnit. Friday—” he paused, suddenly realizing he’s not in the laboratory. “Sorry. I sometimes…lost track of time.”

 

Steve laughed. “I do too. Although, I don’t have an AI to remind me otherwise.”

 

Tony’s eyes light up. “do you want one? I’ll set you up.” His mind already coming up with blueprints and codes; already thinking up of what a good name Steve’s AI should have. Maybe he could ask him? Like a gift?

 

_And pepper told him he’s a bad gifter. Ha! In your face Pepper!_

 

Steve shook his head. “No need. I have Dr. Maya to do that for me.”

 

Tony suddenly frowned and his eyes averted Steve’s. Steve felt like a monster, as if someone ripped his heart away from his body. Please don’t be sad.

 

“Uh…are you two…close?” Tony asked, shyly.

 

Suddenly Steve understood. “no, silly. I’m gay.”

 

Tony smiled, a bit. “Uh, that’s good news? But are you uhm…” goddamnit his charms deactivate in the presence of Steve.

 

“Single? Yes. In love with you? Also yes.” Steve didn’t even know where his courage came from but by god he’s thankful he had.

 

Tony blushed. “Then, I shall take you out on your best date then!” he said, offering his arm. “Shall we?”

 

Steve laughed and wrapped his arms around him. “Yes, let’s!”

 

Suddenly the door burst open and in came Maya in a frantic voice yelled “Steve! There’s an—” an alarm interrupted her. It echoed throughout the chaos that is happening within the building.

 

“What’s happening?” Steve asked, his calm demeanor masking the panic he’s feeling inside.

 

Tony answered his phone. “Stark,” Fury's voice greeted him through the other end. “There’s an emergency on the East side. We need Iron Man right now.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Fucking cockblocks.” He muttered underneath his breath.

 

“What’s that?” fury asked…with fury in his voice.

 

“I said I’m going,” Tony answered, with the very bit of a child he is accused of acting.

 

Steve looked at Tony in alarm as he strode towards the door. “Tony! Where are you going? It’s not safe—”

 

Tony cut him off with a kiss. “Its okay, Steve. I’ll be okay.” He motioned at himself, although Steve could see the doubt behind Tony's usual placid smile. “After all, I’m Iron Man.” And then ran off towards the exit so he could get to his suit.

 

Steve was left at him staring, questioning. What have been behind Tony's self-doubt? Having doubt while in a battle, especially as risky as responding to whatever Fury—with his enhanced hearing he was able to hear the mad leader’s almost fond anger. Why he had never been formally introduced to Iron Man, is still a mystery to Steve.

 

“S-steve?” a soft voice called out on him at his side. Steve looked down and saw Maya fidgeting. “There’s something I need to tell you…” she drawled on.

 

Steve remained silent, urging her to continue.

 

Maya swallowed before drifting her eyes on the floor, intent on burning a whole on it. “I…Perhaps, I have made a mistake.”

 

“With what?”

 

“With the Extremis.” Maya said, finally looking up, her .

 

Steve felt like there’s something that still needs to be said. “Have you been experimenting on it?” the loud siren of the alarm made it a bit hard to listen what Maya has been saying.

 

“I…I gave it away. Took a portion for…” she swallowed, “…an experiment, yes.” She could not meet his eyes.

 

Steve, already guessing where she is going, “Tell me it’s not what I think—”

 

“As if getting the resolve she needed, she looked up and stared straight at Steve. “I gave it away. For a human experiment.”

 

Steve almost lost his footing. “What?! How could you—Maya! That project is still unstable—”

 

“But it was a success! Steve, it was a success! The nano bots was able to merge completely well with the human cells. The human survived!”

 

“How would you know if you gave it away?” Steve asked. “Are you right _there_ when they injected it?”

 

Maya shook her head. “No. But—” she looked outside. And as if on cue, the alarm stopped. And the room was engulfed in a suffocating silence. She dodged his eyes again. “The man…he’s the subject.”

 

Steve felt like his whole world darkened. Tony will be facing _that_ man, a man with enhanced strength – possibly as strong as he is, and _alone_. His fists clenched and he could feel himself shaking with barely contained anger. He wanted to shake Maya so hard her idiotic tendency would come loose from her head. How the hell is that even thought—

 

_No_. He doesn’t have much time to dwell on her. “I’ll deal with this—with you, as I get back.” Steve was already halfway through the door.

 

Maya rushed towards him, her hand outstretched—“wait! Where are you going--?”

 

“To deal with this mess!” Steve screamed back. He have to hold himself or else he’ll be throwing her against the wall. And it’ll be ugly. “You’ll stay here.” He took out his phone and rang Fury.

 

“Rogers.” Fury answered with his usual stern voice.

 

“Director Fury. I have Maya Hansen here. She stole Extemis and injected the man causing the chaos.” Steve said, motioning for a guard. “Don’t let her go out.” He turned towards her. “And don’t come out. You’re on house arrest.”  He closed the door and put the phone back beside his ears. “I’ll engage now.”

 

“Affirmative. Hawkeye will meet you there.” Fury said.

 

“How’s Iron Man?” Steve asked. And by Fury's short silence, be guessed he was surprised by his question.

 

“He’s currently engage with the enemy.” Fury said.

 

Steve nodded. “okay,” and hung up.

 

_But he was too late._ The battle have already ended. And Tony Stark was no where to be found.

 

\--

 

Without even Friday's reminder, Tony knew that he was bleeding, badly. He has internal bleeding and his left arm is already broken that he’s unable to feel anything from it.

 

“Steve…” he whispered as he navigated himself towards the building. He needed to see him. He could accept his death, only if Steve's face is the last thing his eyes would lay upon. He wanted to hear his voice. He wanted to say sorry that he couldn’t take him on that date they agreed on. He wanted to say _I love you_ , that _I have never loved someone this much_. God, save something for marriage, could you Stark?

 

He grimaced and his suit descended on the building with less style than he envisioned it to be.  His body toppled down and crashed on the window where he had left Steve standing on. He shakily pulled himself up, and his armor scanned the room. He tried to look for Steve's _perfectly_ crafted body but what he could only find was Maya's shaking and shocked form.

 

Maya swallowed.

 

Tony removed his face helmet and vomited blood. “M-maya. Where’s Steve?”

 

Maya didn’t answer but helped lay him down on a stretcher. “Please remove the armor. Let me tend to your injuries, Stark.”

 

Tony did as he was told. He coughed out more blood. “Wh-where’s Steve?” he asked again, he was barely fighting consciousness. He needed to see Steve. Right the fucking now.

 

“There’s too much damage Tony,” Maya said, as if she was already mourning for his death.

 

“I…I need to see Steve,” Tony said, begging. Where is Steve?

 

Maya paused, contemplating. There’s a chance that Tony would survive his injuries if she— “Do you want to see Steve?”

 

Although it pained him to, Tony moved his head and nodded. “Please…” He doesn’t give a fuck anymore if he sounded so pitiful, begging to have a glimpse of a person as his dying wish.

 

“It’ll be painful,” Maya said, hesitantly. It was proven effective, and stable, as far as the experiment have been. And she may even be helping Tony survive. Perhaps, that may earn her some forgiveness? And she’ll be granted leeway on her experimentations? After all, there still some tweaking needed for the Extremis, as Steve has said it’s not stable, yet. But with her and Steve's combined intelligence, and even now with Stark's, she’s certain that it’ll be the greatest invention mankind have ever created, perhaps even better than Stark's Arc reactor.

 

Tony was losing his battle with life.

 

And Maya made her choice. She went towards the remaining Extremis and injected Tony with it. For a few minutes, nothing happened, and Tony's beating heart started to stall, and slowly…stopped. Maya panicked and checked his pulse, and there’s nothing.

 

Then, Tony’s body jerked and blood started spurting from his closed lips.

 

He felt his body burning. As if there’s a fire surging within his blood, coating every cell of his body with it’s flames. His body curled and he vomited all that he could – blood mixed with bread he have eaten earlier.

 

“Tony—Tony can you hear me?” Maya's voice echoed in his head. But it’s not just hers, he could hear thousands of signals, or voices bouncing around. It was as if he had ears on every telephone conversation happening. But one particular conversation stood out the most. It has Steve's voice – angry and scared.

 

_“Where the fuck is he, Fury?! He’s not here! Trace him!”_

 

Fury? Steve? Why would they know each other?

 

Tony groaned as his head began to ache. He closed his eyes and willed the voice to fade. Luckily for him, it did. And he was met with silence. And the constant beeping of the machine, signaling that he was still alive.

 

“Maya?” he called out.

 

Soft hands caressed his head. “Shhss, it’s okay, Tony. Rest now, your vitals are stable.” There’s a wild and wide smile marring her face. “It’s a success!”

 

Tony didn’t have that much energy to question her further. Resting, yes, sleeping seemed like the best idea. Maybe when he opened his eyes again, it’ll be Steve's gentle and handsome face welcoming him. Heaven or hell, he doesn’t care. As long as he gets to see Steve again.

 

\--

 

“Tony!” Steve must have looked like a madman screaming harshly a name in an otherwise empty parking lot. The reminants of the battle that happened earlier was still evident by the huge, burning, hole in the ground. His eyes scanned widely and crazily around the lot. But there’s no other person here. Except him, and his aching chest.

 

Has he been too late to save him?

 

“Steve?” a familiar voice called out his name.

 

His wild eyes turned and saw—

 

“Bucky?” He looked like a homeless man, with clothes torn, and face smudged with dirt. Steve almost wasn’t able to recognize him. “Buck? What’s happening I thought—”

 

“Steve…” his voice was hoarse, as if he had been screaming all day. “I did something Steve…I attacked someone. I don’t know why,” tears was streaming down his face. “I…I may have killed him, Steve. I did not know—I swear I did not—” James’s knees buckled, and he fell to the ground.

 

Steve rushed towards his friend and hugged him, easing his fall. “It’s okay. It will be okay.” His voice soft as he gently caress James’s shoulder, hoping to give him peace.

 

Bucky sniffed his cry and hugged Steve tighter. “they did something Steve. I was captured. They did—it _burned_ Steve. It burned me. I’m dead—” his eyes were unfocused, reliving the nightmare he had felt that night. “And now…I’m _not_.” He almost wished he was.

 

Steve wiped his face. “Come on, Buck. Let’s get a look at those injuries.”

 

Bucky shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so—” there were no tears left. “ _sorry”._

 

Steve nodded his head. “Come on, Buck.”

 

\--

 

Steve helped Bucky into his car and then drove them towards the laboratory. Bucky remained silent throughout the drive.

 

“Maya will help you with your injuries. We’ll get to the bottom of what happened, Buck.”

 

Bucky nodded. He swallowed, wetting his lips before speaking. “I was…I was captured while infiltrating the Taliban.” He said, eyes closed, willing his raging heartbeat to calm. “I was subjected to standard torture. But they didn’t break me.”

 

Steve felt pride on that.

 

“But…later on, the man, he…he dosed me with something.” Bucky said, slowly, as if unsure if what happened have been a dream. Or a nightmare.

 

“Did he tell you what it could be?” steve asked.

 

Bucky shook his head. “He told me it’ll make me talk. That it supposed to be hurt.” He said. “He said…it was given at them.”

 

Steve froze at his seat. “And what…what have you felt? Afterwards.”

 

“Burning. It felt like there’s flames morphing against my inner being. And voices. I heard numerous voices, echoes. Distant.” Bucky said, recounting what he could. “And then, then it was as if I was in an auto-pilot. One thing I was walking towards an empty street in the middle of the night, then the next—” he swallowed. “I’m fighting Iron Man.” He bowed down, ashamed. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

 

“Did you kill him?” Steve didn’t even want to know. But he _need_ to.

 

_God, please say no._

 

Bucky didn’t answer. “He was able to stop me, crashed a car on my head. I blacked out. Then you’re there.”

 

Steve remained silent.

 

“I’m sorry, Steve. Now I literally crashed your dreams of ever meeting him.” Bucky said.

 

Steve can’t help the snicker that escaped him. “I…I have actually…met him,” he said, his cheeks reddening.

 

Bucky's eyes flew open. “You did what? When?” and he’s back to a gossiping best friend.

 

“Ah, at the gala. Last week, I think. We talked and had—”

 

“Steamy hot sex?” Bucky asked, bluntly.

 

A loud horn. Steve almost swerved the car at the other lane.

 

“Hey! Don’t kill us you pathetic pining madman!” Bucky said, laughing.

 

Steve swore under his breath. “You have no shame with your questions!” He scolded.

 

Bucky shook his head. “so? Who topped?”

 

Steve crushed the wheel under his fingers. “Bucky!”

 

\--

 

Thankfully, they arrived at the lab, the car in one piece. Steve helped him and escorted him back at the room. They heard some voices inside.

 

“Tony?” Steve rushed them towards the door.

 

“Hey!” Bucky said, clinching his sore side whose condition got worse because of insistence on running like a dog towards the door.

 

Steve almost tore the door open. “Tony?!” He yelled.

 

He saw Maya standing behind Tony, bandaging his shoulder. Tony was in the middle of technological rant when he heard Steve. He looked away from Maya and towards Steve, his face breaking into a wide smile. He jumped from his hospital bed and rushed towards Steve. “Steve!” his arms wide and hugged him tight. “Steve! Oh my god--!” Tony immediately took his face in his hands and kissed him deeply. Steve was taken by surprise, but returned the kiss anyway.

 

Tony's hands were exploring Steve when he noticed the odd pattern in his wear. “What the hell is wrong with your jeans—” his eyes widened. “Oh my god you’re Captain America!?! I had sex with captain America fuck—”

 

Steve was blushing so hard. Bucky snickered behind him.

 

Tony gasped when he heard Bucky. “You--!” he screamed putting a distance between him and Steve. He pushed Steve behind him, called his hand weapon, and pushed it towards Bucky's chest. “What the hell are you doing here?! I’ll turn you into roasted sausage!”

 

Bucky pushed his hands up. “I swear I don’t know—”

 

Steve placed himself between Tony and Bucky, holding Tony's weapon away from Bucky. “He’s telling the truth, Tony.”

 

Tony looked at him, disbelief in his eyes. “He almost killed me Steve! I almost die!”

 

Steve froze. “Did Maya heal you?”

 

Tony shook his head, suddenly feeling dizzy. “Of course! I came here hoping to see you—”

 

“Sap,” Bucky muttered under his breath. Tony glared at him.

 

“But you’re not here, because _god_ you’re fucking Captain America, and Maya here uh…” Tony and Maya exchanged a glance. Maya was cowering behind the hospital bed that Tony once occupied. Her eyes darting between the three of them, as if fearing they’ll attack her.

 

Steve’s calm demeanor morphed into anger. “Did you _use_ him as an experiment?!” he roared, marching towards Maya.

 

Tony stood between them. “Steve no, she _healed_ me.” He wasn’t sure what had brought this on, because as far as Maya have told him, after he had regained consciousness, that the drug have already been tested and fit for human consumption. And that he had _nothing_ to fear, that she had _saved_ him. It felt _too glorified_ for Tony, but it did what she had promised it to do, so he didn’t look much into it, yet. But both of them knew, that a mind drowned since birth in scientific and technological research will not idle once curiosity popped into it’s vicinity.  

 

Steve – honest to god – growled towards Maya, his fist clenched at his side, his body angled like a wolf ready to pounce on a sheep it caught lurking at the middle of the forest. “She did _not_.” This was too much – even for Maya. She knew how Steve felt for Tony, she had been there through his embarrassing years of pining after him. She should know—how dare she put Tony’s life in balance like that! Damn consequences, Steve wanted to hit _something._

 

Bucky was left staring at the commotion going on in front of him. It looked like something from Clint’s imagination that came to life. He was trying very hard to keep track of Steve’s train of thought. Though by the look of that Maya doctor Steve’s ready to tear into pieces, it seemed like both of them have understood each other. Why is Maya afraid of Steve?

 

Steve’s eyes soften as his gaze turned towards Tony. It was like changing into a different person. His body relaxes, his arms outstretch as he try to relax Tony, who seemed as if he’s on the verge of hyperventalating from all the commotion happening around him. “Tony—she—” before he could even finish what he wanted to say, Tony’s body suddenly went rigid, and without warning, his body was covered in his armor. He turned around, secured Maya in his right arm, and flew away from the room, leaving a hole where a wall was supposed to be.

 

Steve was too caught by surprise, he wasn’t even able to react properly. It took his best friend shaking him to wake him up from shock. “Tony!” he screamed too late. He knew he was running on instinct. Steve didn’t even notice that his feet had moved, or that he was a second away from jumping at the gapping hole mocking him from his inability to stop or even foresee what Maya could have done. If it wasn’t for Bucky, instincts honed on years being at Steve’s looking-for-trouble side, Steve may have done jumped.

 

“Steve, stop!” Bucky said, snapping Steve from his idiocy. “That’s isn’t how you should proceed.”

 

Steve paused for a second. And then he nodded. He pulled out his phone and dialed Fury. “Director,” he greeted, every inch of him oozing with the soldier that he once was. “Track Iron Man. He’s been compromised.”

 

“What do you mean?” Fury asked.

 

“Maya have added a feature on Extremis without my knowledge,” Steve said, walking towards the computer and scanning towards the left-over research notes that she left. “It allowed her to send command remotely.”

 

“Can we do something to prevent that?” Fury asked.

 

Steve thought for a moment. “Possibly. We need a blocker, a neutralizer. Something that will turn off the part of the Extremist that receives signal.” He paused for a second, “Give me ten minutes.” Mind on a hyperdrive, Steve focused all his attention into making the neutralizer.

 

“I’ll send Clint.” Fury said, before ending the call.

 

Steve didn’t even bother answering, his phone dropping at the ground.

 

\--

 

Clint arrived at the scene, geared up and ready. He saw Steve injected Bucky something. “Ease with the needles, Captain.” He joked. “I didn’t sign up as a donor.”

 

Steve shook his head. “This is the neutralizer.” He answered, eyes stern.

 

Clint nodded. “So….why are you giving Bucky—”

 

“Because I was also injected with Extremis,” Bucky said, a frown on his face. “Frankly, I didn’t know why Maya didn’t use me,” he said, masking it as a joke.

 

“Probably cause you’re not as awesome as Steve’s boyfriend.” Clint said, giving up some effort to lighten the mood.

 

Steve blushed. “He’s not my boyfriend—”

 

“Yet,” Clint winked.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “The dude allowed himself to be injected with an _unknown_ drug just so he could see you again, Steve. If that doesn’t scream love, I don’t know what does.”

 

Steve blushed but motioned at Bucky. “How does it feel, Buck?”

 

Bucky flexed his arms, motioning it in an up-and-down fashion. “I think—good?”

 

“You don’t feel murderous?” Clint asked, walking towards Bucky and giving him a hug. “Glad you got back safe, Buddy.”

 

“Did you freak out?” Bucky asked, amused.

 

“Dude, Natasha was this close on—” Clint replied, forming a barely distance between his thumb and forefinger, “hunting down and murdering every member of the Taliban. And we’re not far behind,” he added. “If only this lovesick pup ain’t busy, he’ll probably tag alongside Nat.”

 

Bucky smiled.  “I thought there’s a bro code somewhere that says brothers first?”

 

Steve rolled his eyes, and fastened his shield. “Come on.”

 

Clint laughed as he massaged his shoulders. “I think it’s bros before hoes—”

 

Steve cut him off with a glare.

 

Clint laughed nervously and saluted Steve.

 

\--

 

Tony’s eyes were glazed as they landed up somewhere far. He didn’t know what he’s doing, and didn’t even realize that he had put on his suit. “M-Maya?” he asked, voice scared. “What happened—” he scanned his surroundings and they’re at the rooftop of some building he doesn’t even recognize. “What are we doing here?”

 

“You and I are the same—Tony Stark.” Maya said. She looked at him, as if begging him to understand something.

 

“Same?” Tony asked. He removed his face plate.

 

Maya nodded, giving him a smile. “There’s no difference between us. We’re willing to go to lengths to prove our theory. To know—to seek knowledge! You sought to test the Iron Man suit to yourself, have you not? Just to know if it’ll work. And I did too. I did what I had to, so it could happen. So I would know. And Steve—” Tony’s eyes light up. “—He—he may not understand.” She gave him a hard stare. “You know what they said about the atomic bomb? They said it had to be used once in anger, in order that it never be used in anger again.” She then turned her eyes on the floor, laughing hollowly. “But they’ve done it still. In anger, we may never know.” Her eyes turned towards him, again. “I just—I need to complete this. It’ll save us, it’ll save us all.”

 

Tony was left gaping. For once in his life, he was lost for words.

 

“I’m sorry, Tony.” She said, eyes glazing with tears. “But we must do what needs to be done.” She held up her hand to his face, caressing it. “You do understand. Don’t you?”

 

Suddenly, the sound of a jet blared up their heads. Tony looked up and saw a SHIELD licensed jet hovering just above them. “What the—” his words were cut off as the hatchet open and Steve jumped out, followed shortly by Bucky.

 

Tony turned towards them, haven’t they all been standing inside a room? Back at the laboratory—why are all of them suddenly in a rooftop somewhere?

 

Tony suddenly opened his weapon and fired directly at Steve. “Steve—”

 

Steve was ready this time. He used his shield to block the weapon and deflect it somewhere. “Maya! Surrender right now!” He saw Tony close off his face palate – but before he could, Steve saw his blank stare. He gritted his teeth, he needed to act fast now, before everything turn to shit.

 

There was no answer from Maya. However, Tony had flown towards him and engaged him in battle. He used his moment to kick Steve, and Steve was flown a few feet away. Bucky came to his aid and used his metallic arm to punch Tony. Tony blocked it and used his hand repulse to fire at him. Steve threw his shield to deflect it, and Tony’s head turned towards him. Bucky used this distraction to kick Tony in the chest. Steve called on his shield and used it to hit Tony in the head. Tony fell on the ground. And Bucky descended on him, using his gun to hit him again on the head. Tony was hit twice before he got the chance to use his hand repulser again. Bucky use his metallic hand to absorb the impact as he was thrown off. “Bucky!” Steve yelled. Tony was on his knees when Steve kicked him on the chest, sending him back sprawling on the ground. Tony pushed his hands again, intent on firing his hand repulser at Steve, but Steve was faster. With a cry of pure anguish, he pushed his shield down and hit Tony’s arc reactor, shutting it down.

 

Tony gasped in surprise. His armor shutting down. His consciousness slowly darkening. “S-steve?” Tony gasped, mouth spluttering blood.

 

Steve was crying, while injecting Tony with the neutralizer. “I’m sorry baby.”

 

The jet descended on the floor. And out came a stretcher with some medical staff. Steve removed himself from Tony. They carried him back to the jet and into the nearest hospital.

 

Clint had Maya in custody, and escorted her towards the separate helicopter who followed them there.

 

Bucky went beside Steve, and patted him in the shoulder. “He’ll make it, Steve.”

 

“I shouldn’t have risked it,” Steve whispered to himself. “What if he don’t?” Emotions weighting beyond what he could, his head fell on his hands. “What if I killed him?”

 

Bucky shook his head. “You didn’t.”

 

Steve’s eyes were glazed with doubt. “What if I did?” He could never forgive himself. His stupidity—he knew of Tony’s condition, was aware that the arc reactor was preventing the sharpens from going to his heart, but he still risked destroying it—all for what? To disarm Tony? There’s a million ways he could’ve done that. A thousand different ways to stop Tony – but why did he have to do that? God, he’s worse that Obadiah Stane. Steve wanted to shoot himself.

 

_Why? Why? Why?_

_Why did you try to kill me?_

The first person ??? had tried to kill, was the first person he fell in love with. No crueler fate there is than that.

 

\--

 

Steve felt as if he was walking towards a funeral. He couldn’t hear anything besides the slow and steady beating of his heart. He couldn’t feel anything other than horrifying numbness. He wasn’t even fully aware of where he was going, just idly following the footsteps of his companion – Bucky – and letting him do all the inquiring.

 

They kept on reminding him that it’ll be alright. That Tony will have full recovery. They kept on talking as if he’s still _alive_ – as if he survived. But Steve knew the limits of human mortality – he was painfully aware of it. He was always reminded of it. Been surrounded by death growing up, he knew that everyone has a time limit. That all humans – regardless of their abnormalities, or whatever superpower one has – no one escapes death. Not Clint. Not Bucky. Not Steve. And especially not Tony.

 

_Oh god…what have I done?_

Finally, they stopped. Steve looked up and saw Bucky motioning towards a door with the numbers 409 on it. “Here it is.” He said, his left hand gripping the doorknob, waiting for Steve to compose himself.

 

Steve took a deep breath, and wiped the few tears that managed to spill from his eyes.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes and patted him. “Steve, pal, I’ve been telling you, it’s going to be alright.”

 

Steve merely nodded. “Sure, Buck.” He just wanted this to be over with, so he could mourn properly.

 

Bucky nodded and dragged him. He opened the door and dragged Steve inside.

 

The steady beating of his heart is what greeted Steve. Tony was sitting in the bed, a warm smile on his face. “Sup’.”

 

Steve stood at the doorway. His body tensed, unable to comprehend what’s in front of him. Had he drunk himself to death last night? Was this just a dream? Or perhaps this is his personal heaven? Where Tony woke up and greeted him like nothing’s wrong. Where Tony’s—

 

_Alive._

_  
_

A gentle push on his shoulder is what broke Steve’s trance. And he found himself running towards Tony, enveloping him in a hug, his ear close to Tony’s chest, his mind focusing on the beating of Tony’s heart. Basking himself in Tony’s warmth. “Tony—” he looked up and saw Tony. He grabbed his face and kissed him, hard.

 

Steve didn’t even realize he had been crying. “Oh my god—Tony I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so, _so,_ sorry.”

 

Tony shook his head. “What are you talking about Steve? It’s not your fault—” He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe. “It’s not.” He said. He didn’t know which he was convincing, Steve or himself. He wouldn’t lie, having that memory of Steve _destroying_ what had kept Tony breathing was like a nightmare. When he woke up, and remembered that, he wasn’t even sure if he could ever see Steve again, let alone hugged him without flinching.

 

But Pepper’s visit reminded him of his love towards Steve.

 

Plus, Fury came in and debriefed him of what truly transpired. So, he was also logically aware that Steve wasn’t the one to be blamed. He was just finally thankful that all of this was over.

 

Steve kissed him again, and Tony returned with much vigor. They’re both hungry for each other.

 

A coughed reminded them that they both needed air. They looked towards that person and saw Bucky and Clint – when did he arrived? – looking at them, both marring an amused face. “If you don’t mind—” Then they both gestured at the door.

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Go!” he said, but all of them knew there’s no venom behind it.

 

Clint saluted and both went out.

 

Tony flashed an amused smile on Steve. “So….how about that date?”

 

Steve laughed and kissed Tony’s forehead. “After you get discharged, dear.”

 

Tony pouted. “Kisses then?”

 

Steve laughed and showered him with such.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Happy Christmas Everyone!


End file.
